Memories

Another one of my poetic indulgences. Here I am dedicating this to everyone who at some point in their lives has loved & lost. Hope they rest in peace and know that they will always be in our thoughts and hearts ... 

Standing at the pier, out to the horizon I gaze

An eternity has gone by, but feels like mere days

Gentle waves crashing onto the rocky shore

But even this exquisite canvas holds no allure

The sky is clear, desolate stillness of a storm past

You have been gone, but the memories forever last

I feel your breath as the wind whispers my name

Try hard as I might, this pain I cannot tame

The moments to sundown are all that’s left

Today was the day when we did part

My world came crashing, I was shattered and bereft

Even now, still missing is a piece of my heart

Walk down this lane every year I do

Lone figure here, I let down the walls

Love, yearning and pain, my heart aches for you

With faith that you are here somewhere my heart calls

You are no longer here, in my mind I know

Left me behind, you have a long time ago

But you are here for me, I still am sure

Till that’s true, this pain I shall endure

Bid goodbye I do, with the fading light

Walk back to the world into the endless night

I know someday I will see you again

Embrace you, my lost love, let go of the pain.

Yeh Hai Mumbai Meri Jaan

Mumbai, Sukhetu Mehta's Maximum City, the city that never sleeps, the city of hopes of dreams, it is a city that holds a different meaning to every individual who calls this city home. From being the financial capital of India to having the largest slum to being the Shanghai of India, Mumbai has loads to offer to anyone who cares to look closely and without any warning the city becomes an integral part of life.

Having visited often and living here for the past two years my life had been more or less cocooned in the protected, beautiful college campus and my brushes with the city were limited to eating out, shopping in malls and the battles of riding in the local trains. But as I stepped out of the confines of my life in IIT I was amazed by the rich multicoloured fabric of the life here, where every individual strives to carve out an identity for themselves.

Working here is an enriching experience, teaching you independence, giving you an opportunity to view the real world up close and personal and face it hands on. Most people that come here see the crowded trains, crawling traffic and bursting population but fail to see the hidden wonders, the simple pleasures that the city rewards you with. The wonder as you glance at the beautiful architecture of Victoria Terminus, the old world charm as you roam the streets of South Bombay, the inspiration drawn from the art galleries, relishing your roots in the Prince of Wales Museum, stepping into the sacred halls of the Bandra Church, it is a treasure trove for those waiting to discover what this city is all about.

For those wishing to rejuvenate strolling along marine drive amidst the riot of activity and still finding peace, or climbing the ruins of the Bandra Fort to gaze at the majestic sea link or just frolicking in the sea it is the perfect way to let go of the stress. Sitting atop the cement boulders in the open sea at the Nariman Point in the gentle breeze and gazing out at the sun painting the horizon with numerous hues as it sets is a mesmerizing experience. Reflections and recollections abound here in the melody of the waves lapping the shore, the vastness of the sea and the tranquility that is inspired in you even in a crowd.

This endeavour was also a treat for the palate with delightful Italian savouries at the Cafes Mondegar and Mogambo and the mouth watering chat at marine drive. Rediscovering Mumbai was a great pleasure heightened even more by the company as I roamed the streets of Mumbai taking it all in. A highly recommended experience for all those who want to feel the pulse of a city!!!

Blood Stained Quill

Looking at the world around me, I was struck by how much the saying the pen is mightier than the sword still holds true. Sometimes all that is needed to break someone is a word or an action at their sensitive spot. It all seems like a chess board where individuals are manipulated and their vulnerability exploited. If a pawn on the board could say it all he would sound something like this...

I sit alone today thinking back to those words

Wondering how on earth had they turned to swords

Bewildered at the still glistening fresh blood I glance

My pen perched on the parchment in a warrior stance

The feelings to share and my heart’s desire to express

The world has now taught me I will have to repress

I had waited an eternity to let down my guard and be heard

Turned out to be the gullible lamb, believed in the shepherd

The hurt and betrayal has left me shocked, I’m still in a trance

When just yesterday I had on him taken a trusting chance

The feelings to share and my heart’s desire to express

The world has now taught me I will have to repress

Today the wound has healed a bit, but battle embittered

My scarred soul, has led to being the lone warrior preferred

They ask me to let go of the past, embrace lives beautiful elegance

But how do I defeat the fear of past, approach any new experience

The feelings to share and my heart’s desire to express

The world has now taught me I will have to repress

Gather up my courage, bolstered by you into letting down my guard

Disregard the misgivings but trudging on proves to be real hard

I hope against hope that you have not lured me out under false pretense

Place myself in your care, hope to heal and cherishing life along the distance

Coz the feelings to share and my heart’s desire to express

The world had taught me I will have to repress

The Great Indian Tragedy

My birthday this year brought with it a lot of fun and frolic with the additional dose of surprises courtesy my dear darling and eccentric friends. One of the many wonderful things that came my way was a book I had been dying to lay my hands on ... The Palace of Illusions - the tale of the Mahabharata told from the view point of the woman who many believe had been the cause of the epic battle. 

Flipping through its pages on the flight back home I thought back to the summers spent in my grandparents home, the time when I became hooked to mythological tales or Amar Chitra Kathas as I knew them back then. Across ages, cultures and times mythology has been a very effect tool for instilling values in society, more so  than the religious texts that most people bowed down to.  Amongst the many stories of my childhood, the Mahabharat was the one that had gripped my imagination the most. To anyone who has been an avid reader, it is a marvel that majority of the plots of books across genres, authors or languages has its roots in one of the many sub plots of this great novel. Dealing with the complexities of human behavior and emotions, the varied human traits exemplified by its characters, and the eternal cause of strife - pride and vengeance, the Mahabharat has it all. 

The Palace of Illusions is a tale of a woman whose life was unconventional in the extreme - her marriage to the Pandavas, being gambled at the hands of Yudhishter, the ill treatment meted out to her at the hands of the Kauravas, her exile and her subsequent thirst for justice or vengeance has been written with great honesty and can be easily related to. Draupadi's story holds true even in today's world as is apparent in the trials and tribulations faced by women in the different walks of life and the tendency of people to lay the blame on them for all of their misfortunes. 

The recent sting operation on police personnel in Delhi has brought to light another analogy to the infamous "cheerharan". This time around it is the unfounded prejudice and excessively apathetic attitude of the very people who have been appointed as sentinel to the victims of rape and harassment. In most cases the victims of these horrific crimes end up having to endure even more humiliation and character assassination at the hands of those that they approach in the hope for justice. In addition to being let down by those with the power and authority to protect them, the rest of the world too turns a blind eye like Dhritrashtra and acts impotent like the Pandavas parroting the view of the police that the victims had somehow provoked such an act of revulsion by means of their behavior, clothes, appearance or by the mere act of being female. How then can they explain the assault of children, or women in sarees or in the remote parts of the country ??? How can someone else be responsible for the vile actions of another individual ??? But alas the tragedy of the world today ... no one really seems to care. People will be more concerned about "where the Bachchans had dinner" or "who Ranbir Kapoor is dating"and somewhere in some corner of this country someone's agonised cries will again go unheard !!!

JEE : To Be or Not To Be

The past weekend brought with it a lot of eager anticipation, nervousness, hopes and dreams across the nation to culmination with what might probably be the last ever IITJEE examination. Started in 1960, this examination has metamorphosed with passing time to gain its current status as one of the toughest exams to crack worldwide. Though it has contributed significantly to the global standing of the IITs for its very low admission rate that that would not be my primary argument in favour of JEE as I too am among the vast majority that is resisting the scrapping of this exam in favour of a common entrance exam from next year.

Having myself been an aspirant of JEE and also a current student of IIT Bombay I can say with confidence that preparing for it was a remarkable learning experience contributing significantly to my knowledge above and beyond the scope of my school curriculum. Even today the weeks preceding it were filled with guiding our juniors, critically analysing the paper and waiting for the results that would bring in fresh faces into our campus. You might pass of everything I saw hence forth as being sheer sentimentality on my part and a desire to retain my institute's elite status and would be correct to some extent in thinking so. But it stems more from a hope that India does not throw away its recognised supremacy in higher education for agendas that are not really for our profit or welfare.

The proposal of the HRD ministry for a common entrance exam and the proposed pros of the same are riddled with problems that are too glaring but are being ignored. The govt. claims that one common exam would reduce the stress for students as well as curb the "menace" of coaching institutes which is in itself a ridiculous notion as only one shot at admissions would tend to increase both of these for it would now be a do or die situation. The other proposal of giving weightage to 12th Board marks is excessively impractical as there is a wide variation in the marking trends of the numerous boards that exist in India and the correction of board papers has time and again been brought under the scanner for all the scams that plague this process.

Why then is the govt. so determined to abolish a world renowned exam and bring in its place a system that is not only impractical but also does not have the backing of the states who refuse to do away with their entrance exams or bring about a uniform board and are well within their rights in a federal system to do so. Call me a conspiracy theorist but the only logical explanation seems that the impending setting up of Indian campuses of foreign universities has triggered this chain of events. And to please the powers that be "IITJEE" is being offered as the sacrificial lamb in a tragic attempt to reduce the IITs status and dethrone them from their position as premier institutes to accommodate these new arrivals...

Here's hoping we don't need to say "R.I.P JEE" !!!

There's always gonna be another mountain ...

Someone once told me if you get what you want in life its good because it went according to your will but if you don't get what you want then that's even better because it had God's will involved and he has something better planned for you. Sometimes in life its good to fall or have someone burst the bubble you have been floating around in, it gives you a much needed reality check. It is in times like these that you realize who and what matters in life and that you are much stronger than you ever thought possible because you have it in you to start from scratch and build a new dream all over again ... This is for all those who have had shattered dreams ... just hang in there and you'll find your way again

An eerie calm encompasses me as the noise and din all fades into the night
Dazed I walk post lightning strike, past the cheering crowds comfortably numb I grow
Slowly, through the endless fog it hits me, thus ends fruitless my prized fight
Hollow of my chest I yearn to free willing for the pain to go, the tears to flow

I enter the arena, put on a smile, ignore the growing ache and join in to celebrate
Here amidst friends, wishing them glory, rejoicing alongside soothes and numbs the pain
I melt into the shadows as the rally charges ahead left alone to ponder my uncertain fate
Searching my soul for the hidden strength to start over and dream all over again

With an oath I pull myself together, a promise of better things to come my way
Armed with my mighty quill and a scroll start anew writing on a wiped clean slate
The hollow will be there but the stab of beloved memories wouldn't be forever to stay
The night is almost over, a new dawn will break, new possibilities it will emanate

As the first ray of light breaks, I hope and pray, passing time this hole may fill
Summon all my strength, wishing the cracks don't show, I trudge on ahead
I have it in me, none will see my tear, glide along purely on strength of my will
Another battle I will find, my true calling in life, put my heart and soul into it instead

You hold the key to my heart ...

From early on in my life I have been more comfortable with a pen or quill when it came to expressing my emotions rather than saying it out loud. Though one for penning it down I was never one for sharing it with others. I had always thought that when I finally did start my blog it would be to air my views on the matters of the world and I won't disappoint anyone in that regard as there would be more of that in the days to come. But the turbulence of the past few days and the people who kept me anchored along that course of time made me want to write this down as a tribute to them and the eternal beauty of human relationships ...

The stories of fairies and lands far away
All were figments of imagination to me
Until the day I gazed into your eyes
It was only then their truth did I realize

When I stumble along lost you never let me sway
Never try to change, my true self you let me be
Even in the silence or din, you hear my cries
In the comfort of your arms is my paradise

I wish my heart to you I could show some day
Break away from the fear and set myself free
I wish love were easy no games no lies
But the rules of the world give restricted tries

You are the one who sees me for real
My pain and hurt when I pretend to be strong
You are there to catch me every time I fall
Guiding me along when I run into a wall

Confuse me sometimes, I don't get our deal
Are you mine for real or have I got it all wrong
And you are just a guardian angel standing tall
In your court or mine, just where is the ball

With your tender gaze my wounds you heal
Bickering, fighting with you is what gets me along
Be here by my side is my only wish and call
For you, my dear I can give it up all